Fatherlessness Essay Contest

“Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” –Martin Luther King Jr.

There have been three major violent attacks in the United States in the past six weeks. A shooter in Las Vegas killed 58 people and injured 546 others attending a music festival. In another attack, in New York City, a man murdered eight people and injured 12 using a rented truck from Home Depot to plow into them. Last Sunday, a man killed 26 and injured 20 people attending Sunday services at a church in a small town in Texas. As humans sharing the world, it is hard to believe how commonplace violence is, whether in the form of a “lone shooter” or as an “act of terrorism.” Instead of feeling the shock and horror we should, we have almost become numb in reaction to these outrageous and revolting events.

As a 17-year-old, I have never known a time in America where there wasn’t violence. I was just 1 year old when the 9/11 attacks happened. I have lived through many acts of violence, such as the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings in 2012. That same year, Trayvon Martin, a 17-year-old African- American from Florida, was fatally shot, ironically, by a neighborhood watch volunteer. Whether it’s a mass attack, mass shooting or the killing of one person, the action is violence and the result is the same—death. And we are left asking ourselves, “Why?” What can we do about it?

As teens, we don’t have to feel powerless. There are things we can do. One thing we can do is to raise awareness about religion and racism. Interfaith programs at our churches, synagogues, mosques and temples can help promote goodwill and understanding through diversity. By seeing that we share faith in a higher power and working together for the greater good, we promote understanding. Programs like Harvard University’s The Pluralism Project runs the Interfaith Youth Leadership Coalition in the St. Paul, Minn., area, where “teens work together to nurture interfaith understanding, reduce prejudice and misunderstanding, and act together on common values through service and justice to transform their worlds. In the process, these young people are empowered to be capable interfaith leaders, both within their own communities and beyond.” This program includes many community-based events like a gardening service as well as leadership workshops for the teens. Having more programs like this one, throughout the United States and the world, will help cultivate more understanding leadership and promote greater understanding among different religions.

Teens can also raise awareness of gun violence. Events such as Seattle, Washington’s “Teens Against Guns Youth Summit,” hosted by the Atlantic Street Center, are a way to bring teens together to actively support the anti-gun movement at a grassroots level. Programs like these can help empower teens to help them realize they can be proactive in ending the cycle of violence.

Another way teens can use their voice to denounce violence and terror is through social media. When she was challenged by another student to prove there were Muslims who condemned violence in the name of Islam, Heraa Hashmi, a 19-year-old college student at the University of Colorado Boulder, decided to make a list of all the Muslim groups that did. According to a November 2016 Teen Vogue article, “ The result was Worldwide Muslims Condemn List — a spreadsheet with 5,720 instances of Muslim groups and leaders denouncing various acts of terrorism.” Her Twitter account generated 12,000 re-tweets and the list has been made into an interactive website called www.muslimscondemn.com. Her idea led to a resource for anyone to access the information.

Whether coming together in an interfaith group, rallying at an anti-gun youth summit or using social media to create awareness against violence, teens have a voice. Gun violence and terror attacks need to end in my generation. Maybe Mr. Rogers (Fred Rogers), said it best: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ ” We, as teens, need to be those helpers.

Kids need dads, and we can always find proof in some of the essays written for our annual Father of the Year Essay Contest. In the midst of the all happy sentiments we receive, these essays are reminders that many kids out there don’t have a father in their lives. The essays they send—about the importance of fathers—bring a whole different set of emotions.

This first one is from a young lady in the 11th grade:

My father left when I was two, and I haven’t seen him since. I don’t know what it is to have a father. I see people who have one and I wish I had mine. I’ve always wanted to feel the love of a father. Sometimes my days are bad and I cry because I need someone there to talk to, to share my troubles, my fears, and most of all my dreams. I’ve been through a lot of bad moments and if he would have been there none of this would have happened, because he could have been there to protect me. I feel empty inside.

And here’s one from a young man—a sixth grader:

I don’t have a dad, but I want one. If I had a dad I would feel like the luckiest kid in the whole wide world. A dad could help you build model airplanes or help you make a dog house. He would give you hope for challenges in your life, and if you’re lucky, he will give you help on your homework. It’s just too bad that I don’t have a dad.

Courageous words from hurting kids!

Now, I’m not here to bring you down or to ruin your day, but we must not forget that there are still millions of children in our nation longing for the love of a father. If you’ve spent any time acting as a father figure to children like these, then you especially deserve to be honored at Father’s Day. It’s a good reminder to all of us to reach out to kids who need a father they can count on.


Carey Casey is CEO of the National Center for Fathering and the author ofChampionship Fathering. Read more about Carey.



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